Do you feel afraid where life may take you? I am. My future is vague as I tread this bleak life. It’s like a labyrinth and I can’t find the path that leads to the exit. There’s no one that I can turn to and ask for advice. I’ve been alone in this maddening world.
Maybe I was born with a black cloud hanging over my head. I was orphaned at the age of three and left at the care of my grandmother. Nana as I called her loved me unconditionally. But Nana’s life is not to go on forever as was expected. Her heart stopped beating because of old age.
My life was suddenly decided by social workers since I was too young to make my life. I was left to the care of foster parents. Eventually, they returned me to the shelter because they were not ready for the responsibility of having a child.
After that, I was passed from foster home to another foster home. Was I not good enough? I asked myself. The shelter can’t find some childless parents to adopt me. I was too old for them. And for them I was a high-strung child. Can you blame me?
It was from my last foster parents that I was traumatized for life. I thought that I found a family who will love me but as soon as the social worker left they beat me. The abuse went on for a month. After which, I was mired in confusion and fear.
Fortunately for me, I was rescued from the clutches of my abusive foster parents. A concerned neighbor heard the abuse and the sound of an animal being beaten.
I did not adjust well at the shelter. I became an emotionally difficult child. My pent-up emotions resulted in aggression. I had to undergo a therapy session called funnel anger. It taught me how to Funnel my anger into mindful and solicitous action.
And now that I am a teenager, the shelter will let me out soon to make a life of my own. I’m afraid of what the future will bring me. Although I made friends with some social workers, I had not really warmed up to them. I still feel alone.
Maybe fate has finally taken a pity out of me, I was chosen to become an apprentice of a young spinster lady who dedicated her life in helping teenagers like me. She saw my potential in my artworks. I’m still afraid that I will become a disappointment but then I have felt a tiny glimmer of hope within me. The future is not bleak after all.
My contribution to Ascerblog
Image courtesy: https://pixabay.com/photo-843076/